Record review: Fluorescent Hearts – Guide You Home [Ten Pound]

Single ArtworkSome food for thought: is it possible to sell out before you’ve even made it?

With a handsome frontman and polished tunes, it’s clear that Fluorescent Hearts have set their sights on becoming Britain’s own answer to One Republic’s carefully crafted Mum-rock.

Business is good too, taking the ambitious young four-piece all the way from Cumbernauld to play for six thousand people at China’s MIDI festival.

If you’ve ever thought that Snow Patrol rocked just a little bit too hard or preferred Maroon 5 when they sang songs about Jane rather than moving like Jagger, then Fluorescent Hearts might be the band you’ve been looking for.

Unfortunately it will also make you a dreadful and possibly emotionally stunted human being but hey, each to their own.

Lyrics like “where do you go when you lose all you have and hurting is all that you have?” are designed to resonate with the masses, but they never rise above the level of banal and lazy clichés over his bandmates recycled Brit-rock riffs.

For its intended recipients such a project soars or stumbles on the performance of the frontman and Chris Ashton shoulders the weight admirably.

In the vein of Adam Levine or Danny from The Script it’s easy to imagine him parlaying a few years of successful song into a role on a TV talent show.

Whether this is an admirable goal is up for question.

He can carry a tune but not make you believe it.

Fluorescent Hearts is the perfect name for this band; ultimately they’re shiny but shallow.

Words: Max Sefton


3 Comments to “Record review: Fluorescent Hearts – Guide You Home [Ten Pound]”

  1. Max, away you go and stop shitting all over a local act. Just because they don’t adhere to the wanky Scottish music culture and play a banjo their toes and play polished pop you think you need to slam it down.

    I hate reviewers like you, what does anyone including yourself have to gain from writing a shit review? Absolutely nothing. Go and see them live and you will change your tune.

  2. “Shiny but shallow” not as shallow as you mate,go get your hearing fixed and do something more productive with your day rather than sitting slating a band who mean more to people than you ever will,they’ve come so far in so little time and I don’t think you have a clue what your talking about.

  3. ‘They’ve came so far in so little time’ is a pretty funny statement. I’m pretty sure this band have been kicking about in some shape or form and under different names for about 5 years but putting out the same sort of stuff such as a song called ‘Sex’ which pretty much says it all. They may not fit in with the ‘toe banjo’ players of the snobby Scottish scene but at least they have agro fans like you guys to shoot down any reviews that don’t hail them as heroes. You should find a better band to be so passionate about. I’m sure there are a lot of reviewers who would have gave a much harsher review than Max or not reviewed this at all. A lot of these type bands don’t even get reviews in credible music publications because they clearly aren’t making music for that reason. If people only wrote positive reviews then what would be the point of reviews?The writer isn’t being malicious here, just honest. Not everyone is going to love you’re new favourite band, deal with it or stick to reading the ‘music’ section in The Sun.

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